FLOGGING MOLLY-EUROPEAN TOUR-2003

fri, apr 25, 12:05pm

here i am driving through Paris. its a very busy city but then no different then any other city. all we are really doing right now is driving so all you can really see is the shit around the freeways. however a couple minutes ago we drove past the eiffel tower which was neat. now i can say i have seen the eiffel tower. right on. couldnt say that before. i think in a moment we are going to stop and get something to eat. we will see what is on the menu for me to eat. thats pretty much it at the moment. ill write more later. back in the bus from eating at some truck stop. the truck stops here are alot different the back in the good ole US of A. the food is what I am talking about. the resturaunts in the truck stops are insane. it was this crazy buffet with wines and breads and some options for vegan shit. you could get rice, vegies, and even some grain type vegie salad. i ate just some regular pasta. the place was most likely a chain food store as most trucks stops are but the food they had was alot different then the truck stops that i have seen. thats pretty much it.

apr 26, 2:35 am the shows done and we are back in the bus.

today was the fiirst show and it was interesting. everyone spoke french and i met a cool finnish dude who was a punk. the catering at the venue was pretty good and every table had a full bottle of wine. pretty interesting. alot of bands were playing this festival. beck, massive attack, death in vegas, interpol. the venue tonight was fuckin filled with smoke which fuckin sucked but i think its just the begining. i know most of the clubs if not all of them here in europe are goin to be filled with smoke. fuck. well thats it for now. we have a 8 hour bus drive and then load in at noon.

april 27, 12:44 am. groez fest, belgium

so today was pretty fucked. arrived at the venue late as shit. 1 hour before FM had to go on, i just received 20 boxes of merch, and it was raining. so i had to do a bunch of shit in the rain and find fuckin help to bring my shit through the fuckin mud to some tent. no one was there to help. i didnt even have a hand truck. then FM ended their set and i still wasnt set up. i saw chuck from HWM and we quickly exchanged some words and i went to work. throughout the day i saw a awesome song from american nightmare and heard HWM set. the day was long and hectic and then the end came and i ran into todd who i knew from ventura. he was on tour with his band terror. we talked a little bit and then i closed my shit down and waited for like 40 mins for someone to come get my shit. i was the last person in the fuckin tent. seriously everyone was fuckin out and i was the last one just waiting. i was fuckin bummed and then gary came along. him and i kinda got frustrated with each other due to the situation. its just it felt like we stayed set up to try and go to the end to make as much $$$ as possible. like come on you could be cool and just fuckin close with everyone and let me go early. profits are important. even the headliners dropkick murphys took their shit down early. i was the last one and i was like come on... ya know. no one was there to help me and it just seemed like it was all about the dollar. I mean its weird how you can never get enough. and people dont realize it. today i fuckin really missed todays show was cool in the aspect there was alot of hardcore/punk kids and distros and shit set up. it was cool. poison the well was right beside me so i talked to them and met this fellow jeff who is in the band and i guess when i was out with strike anywhere we stayed at his house in las vegas. i do remember his house. i trieed to go get some food the next morning in some fuckin chain plaza bullshit and there wasnt anything. jeff wasnt there but his roomate smoked weed and we got high on his porch and there was a poison the well/ strung out itinerary on the fridge we were looking at. well thats really it. just kinda mellowing out after today. well i get goin...

apr 27, 1:38 pm. wiesbaden, germany

just got back from the hotel. we went there to take showers. i woke and we were parked outside the venue which is a tagged up old squat. then steve, adam and i went to walk around and came across an old ass abandoned building that we checked out. old brick structure with graffiti all over it. very german indeed. now we are just waiting for the venue to open up and hopefully ill get some food. tried to get a internet connection at the hotel today and nothing so once i get inside the venue ill try and get a connection there. its sunday here so nothing is open so there is really no place to buy a calling card. ill get one soon...we got into the venue and its pretty nice. i guess it used to be an old slaughter house and it was abandoned so some people got together and bought it and turned it into a collectively run squat. its pretty nice.

apr 28, 1:13 am

the shows done. tonight was pretty fun. its the first time i have really been to a squat show. i have always wanted to go and tonight i went. it was great. small little punk show. they fuckin fed us such good food. they made me some good vegan pasta with a vegan cream sauce. it was so good. seriously makes me miss cooking. i cant wait to get home and fuckin cook new food and make shit i havent made before. ya! getting fed at shows is so so nice. cause its good food. the last 2 days the food has been good and plenty of options for me. back home they should feed the bands and cook food for them. really it would be so so good for everyone. people put effort into cooking, eating and hanging out at the venue. kinda makes the show experience that much better. like its more of a community thing. i dont know if that makes sense. we are staying in town for tonight and wake up early to drive to the next show which is in.... shit i dont know right now. i have no clue where i am goin next. its kinda interesting and fun that way. anyhow ya were are driving there in the morning. thats it for now. ya!!!!!fight the power

4/28 4:10 pm. die rohre, stuttgart, germany

the place where you load into the club is this huge long tunnel. i think half the club is underground so the tunnel gives it like a bomb shelter feel to it. havent done much. all i have really seen today is the club. i am pretty much set up and have a few more things to do so maybe ill cruise around for a little bit before the show ends. maybe go look for some good food. i have noticed that while i write this little tour journal or whatever this is i feel like i dont write exactly what i am thinkin. if i had my regular journal that i actually write in i think that i would write more and whats on my mind. i mean i do write whats on my mind here but since i am typing it i feel like i think it out more. kinda makes me think about the whole computer thing. im not against computers cause i have one. i think they have their ups and downs. anyhow that was kiknda on my mind at the moment. i am goin to go stock some stuff up, find some food and try and see whats around here.
well i am sitting at the merch table right now. there is really no one here at all. the show is so dead. there may be like 50 kids here. i was looking at our tour book and the last part of the tour is goin to be insane. nina comes over and we hang for about 9 days and then in the next 22 days after she leaves we have about 9-10 shows. its goin to be crazy. tons of time off in europe. i know its not the best for FM cause they are loosing alot of money. lots of time off. i am pretty excited. i cruised around a little bit today. went to the main train station and bought some food at a little natural food market and called ninsk. tomorrow i will go buy some phone cards and call some people to day hello. i know the drive is long as shit tonight so hopefully we get out of here on time so we get into vienna early so we have a full day there. i need to maybe buy a newspaper tomorrow and do some catching up. went onto the cnn website today to see whats goin on out there. i mean to get an idea of whats goin on seein how its cnn. i also down loaded some news articles about the current situation in iraq. ill read those later seein how they are on my computer. i am goin to be a little dork at the moment and stop writing and play some chess. fuckin rock hard.

april 29 10:46pm, vienna, austria

ya! i am in vienna. its so cool here. we arrived here this morning after an extremely bumpy ride through the mountains to vienna from germany. got to the hotel, checked in and chilled for a bit and then all of us as a group went to the main center of town. it was such a nice day. we came up from taking the train and walked out to a enormous cathedral. it was so insane. so so big and seein that while walking up from the train was crazy. it was so old. so we went to eat and i had some great pasta with garlic and olive oil. so good. i took off and did my own thing. i just cruised around the city. its so huge. i walked all day just checkin things out and looking for a food store. came back to the hotel and got some directions to a good vegie place and walked down there. the food was so good. some sort of curry dish. then i kinda walked back to the hotel and left my leftovers somewhere. totally sucks. oh well. and now i am back in my room just hangin out. last night i was thinkin about how i miss punk shows. i want to get back to punk shows. i am always gone and the shows i am always are gone too arent really punk shows. they are fun and amazing shows and watching FM is so insane. they are so good live. but i miss being around people i have more in common with. punk shows or that enviroment. its awesome with FM but i miss being around punks. ya! wild in the streets!!!! fuck ya for some reason this song just came on TV stay punk. vienna rules and i am excited for tomorrow.

apr 30, 5:45pm vienna, austria-planet music

here i am in some room in the venue. i just found out a little earlier that for my 7 day break i am not getting paid. i was under the assumption that i was getting paid. i am away from home and they arent goin to fly me home for the break so i feel i should be getting paid. thats why ninsk was coming to visit cause i couldnt fly home. then what about lodging and shit. i mean i am not asking for anything special. i then kinda agreed to do what everyone else is doin. if everyone isnt getting paid then i wont cause ill go along with the group but part of me(and i do trust people) kinda thinks with that i could get screwed. like my attitude about goin along with the group would actually screw me. i dont know. maybe i am just tripping out. probably. anyhow though i do need to figure out something. nina is coming over because i couldnt fly home. thats really it. i am glad i figured that out and i wish gary would have told us earlier. he owes us that. no one ever told me that before i came and i was assuming the whole time that yes i am being away from home so yes i will get paid. fuck i still need to talk to gary more cause the more i think about it i want to get paid. i am away from home and they arent flyin me home. makes sense. ill see how it goes. other then that i am waiting for my meal to arrive and i am done setting my shit up. i didnt sell much the last show so there was nothing for me really to do today. peace love and spicy dans from charlie hong kongs in santa cruz.
at the moment i have no clue whats goin on back home. i tried to watch the news last night but every channel was in dutch so i couldnt understand it at all. and when i do get onto the internet lately its been real quick to either send something or get my emails. i know after the show we are either stayin here so i can try tonight to check out somethings or if not ill try tomorrow. i am goin to go try and finish "prison memoirs of an anarchist" so i can get into another book. see ya....

may 1st, 2:59 am, vienna, austria.

we are sitting outside some huge squat right now waiting to leave. i dont know what we are waiting for. i thought we had everyone but i guess we dont. we were just at some huge squat party. we came here after the show cause we knew it was goin on and cause the US Bombs and One Man Army we playin. i didnt really hang out that much. thats one thing. i have been able to use the phones at a couple clubs now. they dont mind if i call the US. fuck that would never happen at home. if a band from sweden was to ask to use the phone at the club to call sweden the club would look at the person as if they are insane. weird. i was in flip flops so i didnt feel like cruisin around so i came back to the bus. we are still sitting here. whats up and whats taking us. people are like crashed out in the seats just waiting to leave. some kid and i were talking about strike anywhere. he saw my tat so i talked to him about SA. it was cool. i was telling hom how i miss goin out with them. fuck i have fun here but i also would have an awesome time if i were around some punks. also sometimes being the merch person you just are kinda at the low end of things and in your own little world. i dont really feel that way while im out with punks. i mean it gets frustrating but not like the "over it" feeling you get. all this isnt not bad. i am having fun its just i am writing down my thoughts and sometimes this is what i think. ya!! there is good and bad just like there is in everything. i am having a fuckin blast. i am seein the fuckin world, geting to tour, i have the most amazing friends ever(all my friends rule) and im in austria right now. its awesome. but ya thats really it for now. i kinda got lost and off track there for a second. everything tonight ruled and vienna made it on the awesome list. we are on the highway now on our way to graz. lives great. rock hard. wow i just look at the screen and realized i have written alot. is this getting out of hand?? ha ha ha. i hope not. i dont really write in this that often just when there is chill time. well whatever.

may 1st, 1:02 pm. orpheum, graz, austria

just waking up here and just entered some numbers in the computer from last night. i havent been outside yet. i need to go check things out. i really have to go to the bathroom and you cant #2 on the bus. i thought we were driving last night to some hotel and i thought i would just go there and then shower in the morning but that didnt seem to happen. i guess i should have known that should be expected. i dont care that much. ill just have to go and find a toilet inside. oh well. load in is in about 40 mins so the club will be open then and ill do my business then and see if there is a shower inside. the ride last night was bumby as shit. i mean bumby. i was thinkin if this bus was to ever crash or tip it would be extremely hard to get out of it. thats the way it goes. anyhow ya last night was very bumby but i just put in my ear plugs and was able to fall asleep although at the moment i feel a little stiff from my sleep.

may 2nd, 12:03am graz austria

tonight was crazy. really fun. the whole day was great. i unloaded the trailer with everyone and got everything situated. the club was awesome. it was so nice. if the club was in the US it would probably be one of the better ones. it was weird as well. there were these funny cartoons totally making fun of hitler. then i went walking around to check out the graz clock. it was so so amazing. there were all these really old structures and stair goin up this steep mountain. there is this huge tunnel you have to walk through inside the mountain, then you take this glass elevator up the mountain and come out to the clock of graz over looking the city of graz which is huge. its so cool. i got my picture taken over looking the city with the clock of graz behind it. this little are is so amazing. seein the old structures on the moutain and the old monastery looking statues and then coming out to the crazy sight of a beautiful city. ya. while i was walking there i walked through this crazy thing in the middle of some river. to cross the river there is this insanely weird structure bridge type thing you have to walk across. well in the middle of this thing there is a bar/ restaurant in the middle of it at water level and the place was packed. there was a slide type thing for kids on it. then you just walk to the other side. its pretty weird and interesting looking. i cruised back the venue and hung out at the show. there wasnt a big turnout and the place was big. maybe 100 kids. well after the show we met some kids out back and hung out with them for awhile and actually gave them something that they had never used before and they totally were stoked to get it. it was so awesome. the kids were really nice and then i just cruised and took another show for the day. 2 in one day. wow. i need to chill. i do usually shower everyday but 2 in one day. ha ha. there was a shower there so i used it. OH YA! how could i forget. the feed me some good food. like this stir fry soya and some curry/ nutty patties with green beans. very tasty. what else happened....ha ha ha. i dont know what to do here. i am reading some of the shit i just wrote and wow it doesnt make sense. i mean just some of the grammar i use. but i dont know if i should go back and change it or leave it original form. aahh!! i dont know. if there is something i catch then i will change it. we'll see how it goes. right now we are just cruisin are way to basel, switzerland which should be nice. its pretty bumby as usual and thats really it. i really like switzerland so i am excited to go somewhere new there. some people are here gambling in front of me. its steve and matt. steve has been losing alot and it think it gets to him and he keeps wantin more. its weird. well i should get goin. maybe do some reading and yes some eating. rock hard

may 2nd, basel, switzerland @ sommercasino

here i sit in the office of the venue just check my email and entering some numbers in from yesterday. i just realized that i need to check on some prices for plane tix so ill write more later. peace and switzerland is beautiful. ya!
just got back from hanging out on some bench under a tree in the rain. the show was fun. there were aot of kids and i was pretty busy. switzerland uses swiss francs so i had to get used to that which was fine. didnt really do much today except hang out at the venue and look for plance tickets. oh one thing did happen. i was walking down the stairs during the show and i fell and sprained my ankle really bad. it hurt so bad. there was a weird step and missed it. ha. well did i pay for it. it hurt so bad that the promoter got me some ice which made it feel alot better. it feels alot better now but still hurts. there were alot of people at the show with dreadlocks. everyone was really nice and basel was pretty rad. well everyone has now crowded in the room where i am and i feel weird just writing shit. i would write more but it just is kinda weird. well rock hard and keep thrashin.

may 3, 4:49 ferrara, italy @ zoo animal club.

i just came back from the bathroom and the toilets are insane. ha. you just stand there and do what you have to do while standing. its pretty interesting. i have never seen anything like it. so we woke up parked at the venue and then i went with the runner to hotel and showered which was nice. the towels in the hotel were different then i have seen. they were more like sheets that you dry with. it had been a couple days. the hotel was in the middle of the country which was nice. the place we are playing is on the outskirts of town it seems like. nothing is around here at all. the venue is pretty big and we are actually supporting tonight. the band playin is a big ska band from italy called Ska-P. right now they are sounding checkin and its seems like tonight will be a good show. i heard it was sold out. i am excited about being in milan tomorrow. ya! i decided to wear shorts today cause its so nice. the weather has been getting more tropical. well i should go to work.

may 4, 3:41 am, ferrara italy @ zoo animal club.

well its almost 4 in the morning. i just had one of the most insane nights of my life. right now there are probably still about 1000 still in the venue dancin and partying. its insane. today was so insanely crazy. i had so much fun. the show ruled so hard. Ska-P is huge here. they sold out like 2000 people and kids were losing their minds. the band was very political and did all these skits wearing costumes. the dude came out on stilts dressed as uncle same and then came out later dressed as a riot cop. man the show was off the hook. one of the best shows i have been to ever i would say. crowd wise. they were loosing their minds. kids went nuts. Ska-P went off. seein 2000 just loosing their minds and every single person dancing. and then hearing the crowd sing along to their political lyrics. it was insane. i couldnt really understand what they were sayin but i could hear certain words. lots being said about BUSH and seein everyone go off. i truly dont know if i have ever been in a settin like that before. 2000 people all smiling and singing revolutionary tunes. insane. never seen anything like it. i was laughin all night. it was so amazing and happy. back home i have never seen anything as insane as this. people lost their minds and everyone had a smile on their face. i danced so so hard to every song. not that much of a ska fan but this band knocked my socks off. we loaded in after ska-p did. the opening band was an are grrl pop-punk band. i watched them sound check and they were pretty good. i was excited to see them and i cant remember the spelling of there name. in english they are called Rag Dolls. i talked to there drummer for a bit and there was a big language barrier. then i went to get some food which wasnt that hot. steamed vegies and mashed potatoes. it was worse then it sounds. i walked outside cause i heard there were all these bootleggers outside so i went to check them out. they had 100s of shirts that were exactly the same as the band had inside. how shitty all these people trying to make money off someone else illegally. ive never seen anything like it. this band was huge.kids were waiting like 2 hours after the show to get signatures. there was hundreds of them. so so so much fun. everyone dancing along to songs for the people. hearing 2000 people sing these in a small club is something you cant ever describe and something you can never forget. its the most amazing feeling. in italy people seem to be pretty together. the kids werent crazy punks or tables set up or anything. there was punks but it was pretty normal show. there was alot of EZLN shirts which was very nice to see. i am really tired and i would keep writing to keep this night goin. i kinda didnt want it to end. the feeling was insane. tonight was INCREDIBLE!!

may 4, 11:14 pm milano, italy @ transylvania

we are leaving milan right now. my day wasnt good at all today and tonight just put the nail in the coffin. i FUCKIN ATE MEAT!!!! tonight and not by choice. FUCK THAT!! i havent eaten meat(knowingly) in 6 years and i thought it was clear to the group and their manager that i dont eat meat or any other animal product for that nature. yes people make mistakes and i understand that but it was made pretty clear. fuck and it doesnt help because now thats all i am thinkin about. eating that dish. i dont care what people choose to eat because its a personal choice. once it happened most people were like "that sucks" and others kinda treated it as no big deal. not to them but to me it is and one reason you dont know its a big deal to me is cause you dont know me. i am hired work. i think i am getting over this tour. i enjoy touring but when you are hired work and i feel treated like the lowest out of the group it kinda makes you look at things. i didnt fuckin eat shit tonight. the whole tour so far i ahve eaten(sometimes really well) but when we get to the venue there are all these trays filled with shit and non of it i can eat. yes its my choice. but hey you hired me knowing how i am and you make fuckin $1000s a night so you could help someone else out. everyone gets there food that they can eat why cant i. is it cause i am the "merch guy". i am so frustrated right now. this is how i am and i dont think i am getting looked out for like i should. its weird. then there are some out here who "used to be like you(me)" and arent any more. meaning there are a couple who used to be vegan/ vegi and arent now. thats your choice which is fine but to treat me like "oh one day he will learn" is crap. i am how i am and i beleive in what i believe in thats it. just cause others cant stay true to their current beliefs doesnt mean others will follow that same path. one of the most important things to me is my diet and when that isnt met that screws me. sometimes it can be met and other times it cant. ill deal with that as it comes. but being on tour with a band that brings in some fuckin cash and some people on the crew arent 100% fully taken care of that is some bullshit. im not sayin i am special and take care of me. anything they ask for they could kinda get so hook your "employee" up. thats really it. i am fuckin pissed off and thats final. i was super hungry and looking forward to eating and then i got fucked and it isnt that big of a deal. im just the merch dude. so ya i dont know if there will be any tours left with FM cause i miss being on the road and actually being part of the group thats out. i dont feel that here and thats one thing i have always been against. being treated as a subordinate. i am not trying to be a whiner. actually i dont need to make excuses or justify my attitude. i have the right to be upset and when you are in a little funk sometimes you look at things a little different. the way people were acting in the restaurant tonight was not that respectful. the restaurant we ate at was so interesting. it was this crazy gothic place which was insane. well it should have been chill but some in the group were being their loud, belligerent selves and i kinda felt like we were living up to the "typical american tourist" which is how it was. we werent that respectful and it sucks. why am i sayin we. i was just chillin being in my own world due to what just happened to me. i could keep goin and goin but i may go to sleep soon. i miss my friends dearly and needed wish i had them today. cant wait to get home and get near my comfortable setting with my friends. it totally sucks to cause last night was insane and i wish i was still in that mood. well peace love and understanding.

may 5th, montpellier, france

here i sit in some hotel which should be sitting on the french rivera . well its not. we kept and it took us here to montpellier. today was a day where it was planned (even in the tour book) for a day off to swim in the med and hang out. well that didnt happen and its a bummer. alot of people are kinda bummed. we were all looking forward to it but shit just wasnt organized like it should be. montpellier is pretty cool. we got into some hotel mid morning and we are stayin here so thats cool cause the drive to barcelona is only about 3 hours. today nathan, adam and i went out with some kids today. they took us to do some laundry and then took us to the center of montpelleir which was so so beautiful. we went to this roman looking structure which was in the very middle of the city and you could see the whole valley 360 degrees. so amazing. the whole town was so amazing. ate a falafel for the first time this tour. very delicious. came with frites which was an added bonus. that was really it for today. got laundry done so that was an accomplishment. ya! well we are off to espana tomorrow which should be nice. it is nice goin through this but i wish i was taking it in with my friends and taking in the culture. i mean i get to experience the culture but to a limited degree. i think if i was in my normal enviroment i would take more in. you know getting to actually experience there culture. anyways take care...ya!

may 6-6:20pm, barcelona, spain @ KGB

coming into barcelona is amazing. just seein all these crazy, old brick/ stone structures all over the hills as you come into the city is amazing. barcelona is pretty near the ocean so it adds to the scenery. i have been here before and loved it but i stayed near the center. barcelona is so so amazing. i wish we had more time here cause i would love to cruise around more. we are in the middle of barcelona but i have no clue where the center is from where i am. found out about an hour ago that the rider that was sent to the club had no mention of food for a vegi & vegan. 2 in a row. this should not be happening and whatever the reason is it needs to stop. however the grrl who works here said she will help me out which was awesome. she was really nice but said she had no clue and it wasnt advanced with her.??? i do have food coming so i am not as pissed as i could be. ha!! while we were coming into the area where the venue is was insane. the streets were so narrow and the bus was seriously not even an inch from hitting cars. it came down to 5-6 us gettin off the bus and lifting about 5 cars out of the way. insane. the cops were there freaking out. then we had like 5 mins to unload everything in the club cause the bus was blocking off traffic. after that was done someone came to get us cause the bus was stuck again and there were cars lined up all the way down the street. cops were everywhere and they were loosing it quick. so again we had to move some car by lifting it. thats it for now. i just got back from cruising around to look for a calling card which was a mission and a half. i did end up gettin one but it took some time. rock hard.

may 7, 2:20 am

driving through barcelona right now i think tryin to find a highway. the streets in barcelona were totally screwed for us. its not easy moving a huge bus through skinny streets. again tonight we had to get out and lift a car. the show was pretty small today. like maybe 80 kids or so. but the kids that were there had alot of fun. it sucks that there havent been that many kids at the last couple shows. FM is totally an audience band . i mean tonight kids were having fun tonight. we had to load out tonight in the pouring rain. i got so so wet. i mean it was coming down hard. my clothes are hopefully dryin right now. we will see in the morning. thats it. rock hard.

may 8, 2:46 am madrid, spain

well i am sitting in the bus at the moment in front of our hotel. i dont know where anyone is. there are some in the rooms showering but the others. oh well. i am not that worried. gives me some peace to just chill and its less crowded. the show today was good. there was a couple hundred kids there and everyone had fun. there were alot americans at the show which was odd. i talked to some of them for awhile. there was one kid who was at the strike anywhere/bane/good riddance show in st. louis last year. i didnt really get to see much of madrid. its okay i guess. i just chilled out. the last couple shows i have been helping more on stage cause i havent been that busy in my world so thats been fun but heavy. ha ha. we are leaving here pretty soon to the basque region of spain. i dont now much about the basque region but i think its kinda a separatist region. i think. i dont even know if that makes sense. well see what happens. well thrash hard and my friends rule!! ha. i was about to end this when i just read the title of this entry and realized i didnt comment on the snow surrounding madrid. there were these huge mountains covered in snow off in the distance as we arrived. it was so amazing seein the brown colored soil ground with all these stone structures and then snow covered mountains behind it. pretty neat. well thrash hard.

may 8, 7:41 pm, bilbao, spain, basque country

bilbao. AMAZING. this city is so so beautiful. driving into bilbao the scenery is amazing. the mountains are so green and covered in amazing forest. it has a total jungle feel to it. real dense green trees. so beautiful. then in the odd place you have old stone structures that are still standing completely or are falling apart. very amazing. the rocks and the mountains. ya! you get into bilbao and it doesnt have the city feel that barcelona or madrid have. the city is in the middle of a valley with just green mountains surrounding the outskirts. i walked around for a bit a didnt see much the direction i went. so a little later i went a different another direction by myself. i came across the river that runs through bilbao and the mountains on either side covered in old stone structures so cool. oh ya on a side note. real quick. i guess last night while we were driving here we were behind a snow plow due to a little blizzard type thing. i was sleeping so i didnt see it but snow in spain. insane. so like i was sayin.... after seein the river and the mountains i went back and ended up goin back out with dave, bridgett and tigi and we walked down to the river and walked towards the gugenheim museum which i dont know anything about. Well coming around the corner to where you can actually see the museum was amazing. in the back ground all around us(360 degress) was beautiful dense green mountains and then you have this insane looking structure blended in with the river. IF i had my camera this sight would have been the best picture i have taken all tour. i always forget to grab my camera cause once we stop i load out and then i am inside setting up shit. by that time the last couple shows the bus has been long gone so no camera. i totally wish i had it today. whatn i saw was amazing. humanity is so so interesting. you have such beautiful scenery as this and then you also have such insane destruction such as war. the sights i have seen here are so so so much more amazing then anything i have seen in the good ole US. maybe because we dont have sites like these at home is the reason its so easy for us to jump to war. we dont know what its like to have such beauty and to actually have something worth perserving. all the structures at home are only a couple hundred years old. not thousands. maybe if are so called leaders and the rest of the fuckin world puppets actually took time to view and take in some of these sites we wouldnt be in such a insane state of affairs. its a fucked up thought seeing these and thinkin that shit like this actually gets bombed and destroyed. absolutely insane. i cant believe it.

may 11, 1:04 am, london, england

here i sit in my hotel room in the last evening hours of the night. the show ended about 2 hours ago and i havent done much since. after the show ended i tried to find the promoter dude cause i see that the same company that did the show for us tonight is doin a BJORK show the night i fly back from amsterdam. BJORK!!! so i was tryin to see since FM had such a great show if he could possible help a brother out with getting into the show next week. how insane would that be. Bjork in london. aahh!!! london is insane. its so expensive though but there seems to be alot goin on. city wise that is. anyhow ill fill you in on my day and yesterday. well yesterday there wasnt really anything. We stopped in the morning from an all night drive in some town in france called tours. we just hung out there all day. i walked around with nathan and then cruised back to the hotel and waited for bus call. got onto the bus and watched people gamble all night. interesting. the drive was pretty boring so i crashed out. woke up this morning at immigation. sat there for an hour and then came to the city. we pulled up at the venue and its right in the middle downtown. or a may place in london. the streets were jammed packed. its called the mean fiddler. anyhow i see on the marquee that BLUR is playin so i get all stoked. not like i could go though i had to work. then i find out later that i have to meet the bus a day early which is fucked cause i was told i had to meet it on the 26th not the 25th. shit i am still not sure if thats the day. i was told "plan on the 25th possibly the 26th". shit like this should have been figured out months ago. Some of this tour is very disorganized in that sense. i mean i was told the 26th and now shits changed and there are flight tickets involved. anyhow shit sucks sometimes. well the show started and i actually snuck away for a hot minute to go upstairs and see BLUR. i watched them finish some song where damon plays guitar and then i was leaving and thought ill stay and see what song is next. then the keyboards, and drums kicked in and they played girls and boys. it was so awesome just the song to catch. so crucial. everyone was dancing and i got into it but then had to leave. it was cool seein them play that song. so since i have seen 1 good song from blur can i say i have seen them? weird. well anyhow that was pretty much it. now i am just chillin taken in the days events. man i hope i can see bjork. wow. i wonder.

may 12, 1:21pm driving to biringham

just on our way to manchester. the show last night was good. we played in oxford, england. there were a couple hundred kids there. the shows in europe havent been as big as the shows in the US. i mean some shows there have been like 20 people. its pretty weird. anyhow i didnt really do anything in oxford. i walked a little bit and got some ginger stir fried tofu. wow was that dish good and much needed. then the show happened and then we loaded out which sucked. we have some heavy ass cases that we had to carry down a huge flights of stairs. that always sucks especially when it takes 4 people to carry 1 case and when you only have 2 loaders. insane. today i have to figure out my flight to amsterdam. i got tickets sent to one of tigis friends house cause she said they would bring them to the london show. well they didnt and tigi didnt even call them and let them know they were coming so now i have to figure out how to get them back or get re-issued tickets. something i dont want to deal with right now. but ill try and figure it out once the bus stops and i am near a phone. rock on.
"whatever then"is what she said. one more thing added to the list. ill start from the beginning. about a week and half ago i got on the internet to order tickets to go to amsterdam. well one of our crew people tigi knows people from england seein how she used to live here. so i ask her "is there a reliable address that i could possibly send these tickets to". she could have said no. but she said yes send them here. so i entered her friends address thinkin it would be reliable. well it turns out that she didnt call her friend to tell them they were coming. not my fault. so yesterday i asked her if she knew where they were. she said"you didnt remind me". yes thats correct i didnt remind her. i thought it was reliable. dont try and turn it on me. i thought hey her friend knows and when they arrive they will have my name on them and they will bring them to the show. well guess what they didnt know cause she didnt tell them. not my fault. so call the place and they said they re-issued me tickets and it is goin to be 35 pounds each. thats fucking 70 pounds. thats at least $100 US. what the fuck. i had no fucking clue this would happen and if i did i wouldnt have done it. im not trying to start shit out here on the road. i just asked if it would be possible to send the tickets to her friends house. she said yes and once she said yes i thought she would be smart enough to let her friends know. well i guess not and i got fucked. i am pretty pissed off about it. i guess thats what happens when you trust someone you dont know to well. so thats it as of right now. i am pretty frustrated and its just another thing. DAMN!!!

may 13, 12:12am driving to scotland

the shows done and we are now driving to scotland. pretty excited to be going to scotland. i have never been and have always wanted to go. the show tonight was okay. another small show which is okay. i have been thinking about the whole situation that happened earlier. fuck not really productive. i mean shit could be alot worse so its not that bad. it sucks but again what can be done now. nothing so i have to accept that. thats really it for today. i was talking to nathan earlier and we were talking about touring england. its neat but it feels like we are back in the states. we will see if scotland has that feel. then we play one more show in england and then get on a ferry to go to the irish land. that will be fun fun fun. take care.

may 13, 5:03pm @ the garage, glasgow, scotland

here i sit in some room just waiting for the show to start. today i feel very empty inside but i dont feel like going into it. i enjoy touring alot but i enjoy it when i am in a comfortable setting. i mean this setting isnt that bad so dont get me wrong its just...... its just im not my usual self out here. its no ones fault but mine but i dont feel comfortable opening completely up to these people. again they arent bad people but i just dont feel like there is a very comfortable setting for me to open up. thats all. so having said that i miss myself and i miss my friends alot. in the past people i have toured with i have had no problems. if i needed someone to talk to or to get something off my chest i would do it. here i dont so i have to keep everything inside which isnt the best. its just i dont feel that sort of openness like i have felt in the past. out here i am in my own little world. whatever. i mean it would be worse all i am saying is this is different. i know when i was on tour with FM in the states it was no big thing. i mean it was the same in the US but it was so easy just to pick up the phone and call my home grrls and home boys and have someone to talk to. in europe i cant just pick up the phone to call and it sucks. oh well. just another day. rock hard. ha ha ha. i read the first sentence or 2 in this entry where i say "i want go into it" ha ha ha. so much for that. sorry.

may 14, 5:30 pm manchester, enlgand @ academy III

just got back from cruising around manchester by myself. very nice. strapped on the ole headphones. my mission for today. find a music store to go buy the new alkaline trio. success. i walked a ways into downtown manchester and went into a music store and bought the the A3. i have had the demos for awhile but its nice to get the real thing and see what happened with the songs once in the studio. manchester seems really cool although it would be just where i am located. there are so many kids here. probably cause we are playing at the university of manchester but its nice to be see people and be around people my age. finally!! the people i have been around lately are either the kids coming to the shows which are usually young teens or the people in the band who are all over 30. anyhow thats really it at the moment. i am going to go set up my little world and then maybe go check some email. to all my friends reading this. i just want to say i miss yall so so so much and yall rule so hard. thanx for making my life insane(in such a positive way)

may 26th 3:27 stansted airport near london

so i should be in graz, austria right now but i missed my flight. it wasnt my fault. i took some express bus here to the airport and arrived like 5 minutes before my flight was supposed to leave. the traffic was insane. then i had to pay 40 extra pounds to get onto another flight that takes me to the other side of austria. from there i hope to get picked up by the bus or else i have to take a train to vienna. right now i am super hungry. everything near the hotel was closed due to some holiday and then the food in the airport fucking sucks. probably won't get some food at all until tomorrow if im lucky. getting on a plane with an empty stomach. not fun. anyhow there is nothing i can really do. i dont care about missing my flight but paying 40 extra pounds("terms and conditions" read the fine print). ouch. whats done is done though and i cant wait to get out of england. the same thing happened at the begining of my week off. i get dropped off at heathrow at 3:30 in the morning and my flight didn't leave until 12:30 in the afternoon. we didnt think it would be a big deal and thought they would put us on an earlier flight. wrong. they would have charged us 50 pounds each to catch a new flight so we decided not to and waited it out. open seats on a flight but still going to charge us 50 pounds each. fuck BMI airlines. i am pretty over england. i don't think i have had the best experiences here. first from having our tickets not getting delivered, then getting them re-issued for 70 pounds because someone wasn't as reliable as they said, then to not getting on an earlier flight when there was open seats, to now missing my flight to get back on tour and having to pay another 40 pounds. ouch. then the exchange rate here totally fucks us as well. okay okay. well on to the good shit. i went to amsterdam for about 5 days and it was so much fun. seriously it ruled. i needed that time off. i arrived and was pretty beat from not getting any sleep at the airport. i crashed out and then woke up and went to get some falafel. i also went out to a coffee shop and had some fun. then the next couple days i went to the van gogh musuem, anne frank house, sex musuem, cannibis college and we went to a fuck/ vibrator show. ha ha. very interesting and weird. i had never ever done anything like this before so I decided to check it out. basically you pay money too go in and watch (a female) get themselves(or supposedly) off and then the curtain comes down. a couple minutes later they return with a male and fuck right in front of you. it was very interesting. you could tell both people weren't into it at all. i mean why would you be. what was weird though is the dude was able to have a hard on the whole time. anyhow you watch them fuck for like 15 minutes and then the show is done. it's pretty weird but non the less was an experience. i have never watched 2 people fuck before in real life. so in amsterdam we did alot of walking and checking things out and managed to eat at some very good food. very good. then nina and i got back on a plane and flew to london and took a nap. woke up and cruised around all afternoon. we both were hoping to see bjork that night but the person who i was trying to get the hook up through never replied back to me so that blew. then we found out that radiohead played in london that night and were playing the next night and both shows were sold out. incredible. bjork and radiohead all in 2 days and we missed both. ouch. anyhow the next day nina and i woke up and got some snacks and cruised down to the touristy area of london and checked out buckingham palace and the shit around there. it was a very nice day in london so we chilled at a park for a little while and cruised back to our hotel. both nights we were in london we ate extremely well at some vegan thai buffet. it was so good. we went to some bar last night and while we were coming out we ran into bob's wife(flogging molly/ on some street in london. very weird but neat. running into someone in a different country that you know is always very interesting so we cruised with her for a little bit and then eventually made our way back to our hotel and crashed out. woke up this morning and we went our own ways. nina went back home and i hope her trip is going better then mine and i am stuck in some airport. not fun. i realized in the last 5 months i am going to have been on 17 flights. insane. really insane. well thats pretty much it for the last week. i did alot of cool shit with nina and had an incredible time with her. so so nice being able to have a week off in europe while on tour and having your best friend fly over and get to hang out with them. fuck yeah. couldn't be better. thats it for right now. hopefully my trip goes smoothly from here on out and i arrive in austria soon and get some fucking food cause my stomach is fucking telling me its hungry. talk to you then.

may 26th, salzburg, austria 9:31pm

sitting here in some hotel in salzburg waiting for the bus to arrive from munich. they are there picking up matt, steve, and nathan and then should be here in about an hour to pick me up and then off to vienna. it all came together and i ended up not losing that much money due to my flight because now i am getting picked up instead of taking the train from graz. although i still lost money it isnt as bad. salzburg seems like its in such a pretty setting although i cant quite tell right now due to the fog. it also reminds me alot of where my grand parents live in canada. you walk off the plane and you are overwhelmed by the smell of either cow or sheep manure. the airport is super small in the middle of these intense mountains. these types of mountains i havent seen before. these mountains are like the ones you would see on the discovery channel or national geographic when they are focusing on eastern asia countries. the airport is in the middle all these huge, steep, steep and very green mountains. i cant tell how tall they really are due to the fog but seeing this green mountain reach almost straight up to the sky covered in a fog, cloud layer is amazing. to bad it got dark quick because i have about an hour and it would be really nice to be able to just sit outside and take in the full surroundings. well i know the entry above this is huge due to my awayness so i will end this here so whoever is reading it wont get to tired from looking at the computer screen. take care

may 30, losheim, germany-day off

just sitting here in some weak ass hotel in germany. we have a day off so not much happening today. just doing some laundry and thats really it. the town we are in is pretty small. i mean small. tomorrow we got added to another deconstruction date and the show is in this town so we are here for that. the last 3 days have been so much fun. i mean alot of fun. dont get me wrong the whole tour has been fun(with ups and downs but over all a good time)but the last 2 shows have been so rad. we arrived in vienna on the 27th for a pre-production meeting. pointless is what it was. we didnt do anything all day. seriously nothing. there was no reason for us to be there. half the bands werent there. i know everyone would have rather had 1 extra day to their time off. oh well. so all day we just sat and then later in the evening other bands/crew started arriving which was nice. a couple friends of mine dave haus and wilkie were there so i kinda chilled with them and got to know and meet some other people. that night was pretty fun. just alot of partying and hanging out going on. the next morning i woke up all tired from a night of having fun. hung out with the other merch peeps and waited for our shit to arrive. set up my shit and then the show started. there were alot of kids. i mean it is a pretty big tour(nofx,boy sets fire, bouncing souls, flogging molly, tsol, thrice, fabulous disaster,real mckenzies, strung out) it was kinda like warped tour but ALOT smaller and ALOT less bands so thats what was nice. i mean its alot smaller then warped is and the venues were way smaller so there was alot more "closeness". and since there arent tons of bands more everyone hangs out. well the show went well. it was nice hearing the bands i wanted to hear and hang out with good people. the kids in austria are fucking insane. i mean fucking insane. really! i dont know what it is. still trying to figure it out. i dont know if its growing up in the west and having different humor or something but it was weird. i mean tons of kids stole shit. i had to chase some kid from stealing something of mine. the kids were pretty annoying. like kids were getting pretty intense and when they noticed you getting frustrated they would be like "chill out" it was really really weird.. anyhow that show was good. loaded out and then helped wilkie load out and hung out with him, haus and some new people i had met. i just chilled in their bus until we left because you can do somethings that you cant in ours. ha ha ha. i had a really good day. getting to watch and here some of the bands i like is always nice. yesterday we played innsbruck, austria and it was another good day. to start the day out i got a fucking screw driver through the mouth. seriously. i was watching steve trying and pry open our lock on the trailor and the fucking screw driver snapped in ahlf and fucking went straight through my mouth. all the way through to the other side. so i was covered in blood and fucking had to tend to that. not fun. it was pretty bad. didnt know if i need a tetanus shot or what. still havent had one and its healing fine but we will see. anyways what a way to start the day. a fucking dart shooting through your mouth and going all the way through. the show started and i set up my shit. i must say when it comes to big fests and the whole merch thing its always nice to get a good position. i had known some of the merch peeps from past tours and they were kinda in charge of who goes where etc etc so i was always beside them which is nice when it comes to dealing with weirdness and sketchiness. so the show went well but for the reason the kids were a little more hectic today. i really dont know what it was. seriously. i was outside last night with some of the souls people and some kid just walked on their bus and would not get off. he wouldnt get off. these kids were something, anyhow after the show i just hung out with some i had gotten to know and others i knew and just chilled. it was so nice to be around some punks. the last 3 days have been great. i hadnt seen nofx, souls or boysetsfire for a long time and it was nice getting to watch each band. yeah! well thats really it up to now. the last 3 days have been a fucking blast and this is what stokes me out on touring is this. ha ha. well we play tomorrow deconstruction again so it shall be a good time.

june 2, somwhere in holland. cant remember the towns name. ha

we are no longer on the deconstruction tour anymore. we played our last show the other night. the show for me was kinda of shitty. i got the fucking flu or something. i was throwing up and shitting all day. it was a super hot day so maybe that had something to do with it. i think it was also some of the food i ate(which wasnt much). anyhow i didnt really work. someone covered me so i layed down under a tree near a lake all day. quite nice but shitty cause you feel like shit but there is nothing you can do or no where to go. anyhow the show was still fun. it was nice getting to hang one last time with some people and watch some of the bands. let me tell you there is nothing, i mean nothing like seeing 9000 kids all with their fists in the air singing along to "dont call me white" by nofx. louder then the fucking PA. i was fucking madness. i havent seen anything like it. it was fucking insane. kids lost their shit and nofx was fucking way into it and played some fucking songs they hadnt played on tour yet. fuck yeah!! i am a big fan of nofx so seeing that and hearing that song sent me fucking nuts. then i puked again. ha ha. i went to the bus and fucking crashed out for the rest of the night. ha ha i woke up and kinda(not really but kinda) shit my pants. yeah thats how sick i was. whatever now i feel better and everything is all good. but the last 3 or 4 days have been interesting. getting a screwdriver through the mouth, having an intense flu, and kinda shitting my pants. wow. today we have the day off so i am going to cruise around the city we are in a maybe stop by a coffee shop or so. take care and fucking rock hard.

june 3, heidelberg, germany 6:48pm

just hanging out downstairs at some club we are playing at. went to some crazy crazy ruins today of the schloss castle. amazing. it was so crazy to think about how shit was back in the day. i dont know all the history behind it but its very interesting. i know its from the 1700s and has been pretty destroyed by a war. i mean its so huge there isnt that much damage. so amazing and the hills surrounding it were so so green and dense. a storm came out of know where and covered the with brutal sounds of thunder although you couldnt see it. it was coming from above and being in the old castle was a pretty amazing feeling. thats really it for know. did that and cruised back to the venue. pre-sale for the show today is at 4. what the fuck. that shouldnt happen. its going to be a slow weird night. its pretty weird being at a show that small, with a band that plays pretty big shows. oh ya the gates at the castle were amazing. huge steal spikes. amazing

june 4th 2:10 am driving in germany

here i sit up fron with paulie our bus driver. its weird cause i have no clue where we are playing tomorrow. its kinda weird. we will see what teasures there are tomorrow. but ya its weird being in such an amazing place and never hearing of it before and not really knowing where you are. anyhow the show did well. there were alot of kids and i talked to some punks. we have 2 weeks exactly until the end of our europian tour. cant wait. i am just into coming home. has nothing to do with where i am. well thats really it. take care june 6th, rock im park festival, nurnberg, germany first i wasnt going to write any more of these little journal things for the rest of the tour. i am sure some are over reading them and some dont have the time. the only reason i send these to people is to kinda keep in touch cause its really the only way. oh well. today was so fucking insane i have to write about it. the show was a huge festival on an old nazi propaganda stadium. its where the nazi fucks used to have their massive party rallies but it looked very new to me so maybe it wasnt this exact spot. anyhow today i didnt have to do shit. i didnt have to sell merch which was nice, and turned out to be real nice once i saw the show list. bands playing today were-boy sets fire, queens of the stone age, deftones, marilyn manson, metallica, moby and tons more. it was fucking unreal. the show was huge and since we were playing it we had passes and were really allowed to go where ever the fuck we wanted and watch whoever. all the bands i mentioned above i got to watch them all. fucking so so good. marilyn manson was good but the sound was shit. his whole show was great. metallica fucking destroyed and from where i was standing i could see both guitar players and the bass and couldnt see the drummer which is okay cause i think hes a fucking moron. seeing 70000 kids fucking losing their heads to master of puppets is something to see. fuck never would have thought i would be seeing metallica. they headlined the mainstage so after them i went and watched moby and fucking eh how incredible. really. he is very articulate and is amazing live. i shouldnt say him because he had a whole band, dj, backup singers, violins etc etc. but really the show was amazing. the lights and then the atomsphere of the crowd was so nice. everyone just dancing having a good time. moby was standing beside me earlier in day while MM was coming on and i should have fucking talked to him now that i think about it. just to say fuck yeah! that was really it. today ruled and tomorrow its kinda the same situation i think. ha ha i hope. the last 2 weeks of tour i think i am only working maybe 3 shows because we are all doing festivals and how everything went today i cant complain. "B obsence B-B-obsence" some marilyn manson for ya. anyhow thats really it for today.

june 11, copenhagen, denmark

we stopped here for the day on our way to sweden. driving here adam told me i was going to enjoy copenhagen and i was going to love christiania. i had never heard about christiania before. after i took a shower i got on a bus and went to christiania. adam had described as a "free area" in copenhagen. so i hoped on a bus and went to over there. i got off the bus and you headed off on some trail kinda through some old trees and old buildings. christiania is a little community that is self goverment. they have their own little economy and its own little rule system(not laws). the main ruling body of this area is called the common meeting where all the people discuss issues regarding the community and everything has to be on consensus. its so amazing. i just cruised around and checked it out. its a real big squat thats blocks and blocks. its real weird though because it is not really blocks. it doesnt even look like a city with roads and shit. it has little trails that snake through everywhere and its on a lake. there are trees everywhere. its very amazing that there is a community like this out there. saying all this though currently with the new conservative goverment that is now in place here are starting to crack down on it. christiania through the polls has most of denmark behind what they do so we will see what happens. the police go into the area now and are starting to arrest all the hash pushers and using them as scapegoats to close the whole community down. while i was waiting for the bus today i saw like 4 police vans in a row each with 6 cops in them. insane. talking to some guy at the place i ate was saying the people are still together trying to fight whats happening to their community. this place is like no other place i have ever seen. such an awesome thing. knowing that there is something out there like this"experimental city"(what it was termed by the govt of denmark). crazy times like this we need more of these. anyhow hopefully they dont get fucked and start doing what every other country does which is follow the american way and become involved in that system. what a bumpy way to go which is only getting bumpier. not a good way to go.

june 15th, 1:11am provinssi rock, finland

weird. something very interesting indeed. its 1:00 in the morning here in northern finland and it feels like its 6 in the evening. its not dark!! the sun isnt out but it is no where close to being dark. it feels like its 6:00 not 1:00 in the morning. very weird and very interesting. i am glad i got to experience this. today was our last show in europe. yeehaaw!! just came back from watching massive attack play and they were amazing. i still cant get over how light it was when they played. so amazing. i also saw queens of the stone age again today and they were loud. we are on our way home now. well kinda. we havent left yet and its going to take a long time. we drive tonight(if you can call it night) and get on a ferry at 8 this morning. then we are on the ferry for 12 hours which is kinda long but the scenery makes time go by quick as shit. seriously some of the coolest scenery i have seen. i would compare it to the boat ride from vancouver to vancouver island. you arent really in the middle of the sea. the ferry to sweden from finland or what we just did yesterday sweden to finland is so beautiful. i cant explain. if our world leaders saw what i saw there would never be wars. so so amazing. you just take this huge boat through all these little islands and the forest. amazing. then we get in to sweden tomorrow night, drive all night to denmark, get on a plane to london the next afternoon, arrive in london and take a bus to heathrow, check into rooms for a couple hours, then get on a plane the next day to new york, arrive in new york and get picked up by our bus and then drive all night to virginia. YEAH! cant wait although the next 72 hours are going to be insane i cant wait becaue i am that much closer to home. its been 2 months since i have seen my friends, my house, talked to my friends. i could go on and on but i wont. thats pretty much it for now. i wont be writing anymore and i am sorry if i got outta hand with these little emails but its just i enjoy my friendship i ahve with everyone i know if if i could i would talk to everyone all the time but i couldnt so i thought i would just email everyone. if you enjoyed it thanx and if not i am sorry. anyhow fucking rock hard and i cant wait to get home. serioulsy home cooking and fucking relaxing is on the agenda. bless your souls.